Dear Drew
Drew Baugher
Issue date: 5/1/09 Section: Opinion
Dear Drew,
I have this problem. I want to get over someone and I can't. I was engaged to this guy and made my life plans with him in it. Now I am trying to cope without him in it!! Life is lonely and dark and once the light starts to shine through the memories of us cloud it over. Every guy I try talking to I just end up saying no to. I am obviously not over him. He has moved on and is completely happy and satisfied. Why must I still cry everyday and take medications to help me live life everyday!? I want to move on and live my life, but no matter how hard I try, he is still there.
Thank you for your question.
First of all, you have to realize that your life will go on without this man in it. Whatever the reasons were for you two breaking it off, you have to understand that you are better off without him. If he has moved on with his life and is happy without you, then you were not meant for each other.
I think that you know another important step you have to take is making some major changes in your life to get over this guy. You obviously were very close and much of your life involved activities with him. Because of that, the best thing for you to do is find a hobby or activity to participate in that has nothing to do with him. Find a friend that has a hobby that you are interested in and join her the next time she takes part in it. Even better, find an activity that you can participate in all by yourself that can be yours and yours alone that you can be proud of and call your own.
Another piece of advice I have is to swear off men for a while. Even though you are searching for some comfort, you should try to be happy with the person you are and become strong and confident in yourself again. Whenever you are happy and can start to have trust in the opposite sex again, then will be the right time to find the person you are really supposed to be with.
***This column is not written by a licensed therapist. It is meant for entertainment purposes only. Anyone seeking professional advice should seek Lake Land College counselors.
I have this problem. I want to get over someone and I can't. I was engaged to this guy and made my life plans with him in it. Now I am trying to cope without him in it!! Life is lonely and dark and once the light starts to shine through the memories of us cloud it over. Every guy I try talking to I just end up saying no to. I am obviously not over him. He has moved on and is completely happy and satisfied. Why must I still cry everyday and take medications to help me live life everyday!? I want to move on and live my life, but no matter how hard I try, he is still there.
Thank you for your question.
First of all, you have to realize that your life will go on without this man in it. Whatever the reasons were for you two breaking it off, you have to understand that you are better off without him. If he has moved on with his life and is happy without you, then you were not meant for each other.
I think that you know another important step you have to take is making some major changes in your life to get over this guy. You obviously were very close and much of your life involved activities with him. Because of that, the best thing for you to do is find a hobby or activity to participate in that has nothing to do with him. Find a friend that has a hobby that you are interested in and join her the next time she takes part in it. Even better, find an activity that you can participate in all by yourself that can be yours and yours alone that you can be proud of and call your own.
Another piece of advice I have is to swear off men for a while. Even though you are searching for some comfort, you should try to be happy with the person you are and become strong and confident in yourself again. Whenever you are happy and can start to have trust in the opposite sex again, then will be the right time to find the person you are really supposed to be with.
***This column is not written by a licensed therapist. It is meant for entertainment purposes only. Anyone seeking professional advice should seek Lake Land College counselors.
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